Mirrored 1 : In Spades Read online

  In Spades

  Mirrored Series #1

  By: K. Pinson

  Dedication

  This book is dedicated to those who have a dream and don’t let anything or anyone stop them in their pursuit of making it become a reality. This book is dedicated to the lovers, the haters and the in between.

  I would also like to dedicate it to my Gramma Pinson, may you rest in peace. Forever in my heart and always on my mind.

  In Spades

  Copyright: K.Pinson

  Published: 30, April, 2013

  Publisher: ©K.Pinson

  This book is a work of fiction. Any similarity between the characters and situations within its pages and places or persons, living or dead, is unintentional and co-incidental.

  The right of K.Pinson to be identified as author of this Work has been asserted by her in accordance with sections 77 and 78 of the Copyright, Designs and Patents Act 1988.

  All rights reserved. No part of this publication may be reproduced, stored in retrieval system, copied in any form or by any means, electronic, mechanical, photocopying, recording or otherwise transmitted without written permission from the publisher. You must not circulate this book in any format.

  This book is licensed for your personal enjoyment only. This ebook may not be resold or given away to other people. If you would like to share this book with another person, please purchase an additional copy for each recipient. If you’re reading this book and did not purchase it, or it was not purchased for your use only, then please return and purchase your own copy. Thank you for respecting the hard work of this author.

  Find out more about the author and upcoming books online at https://www.facebook.com/pages/KPinson

  Table of Contents

  -Prologue: Beginning of an end

  -Chapter 1: The past melding into the present

  -Chapter 2: Walk of Shame

  -Chapter 3: Split Personality

  -Chapter 4: Christmas Memories that Haunt Me

  -Chapter 5: Missing You

  -Chapter 6: Do Not Give In

  -Chapter 7: Broken Glass

  -Chapter 8: Sexts and Ice-cream to keep things interesting

  -Chapter 9: Good Morning, Beautiful

  -Chapter 10: Meeting Gram

  -Chapter 11-Falling in.

  -Chapter 12: & then it all comes crashing down

  -Chapter 13: Daxton

  -Chapter 14:Ava

  -Chapter 15: Daxton

  Prologue: Beginning of an end

  I distinctively remembered seeing my beaten, broken down reflection surrounding me. The memory of seeing my face conveyed in a jagged portrayal, no matter which direction that I looked. I could still feel the gripping chills that continuously racked my body, as I lay in a crimson sea of my own blood. My skin had seared from the tiny cuts invading it. The blood, there was so much blood, running steadily down my body. The thick, red liquid warmed my skin. I thought to myself, how could it be possible to feel anything warm, when my insides were so cold.

  The voices were unwelcome noise in my ringing ears, steadily growing louder and angrier. I could hear the crying, the screaming. I closed my eyes as they were beginning to burn. My left eye had begun to swell shut after receiving the repeated blows. I had no choice but to take advantage of the use of the right one, opening it slowly, working to get a look at my surroundings. I was trying to figure out how to make my next move. My vision was blurry. I could barely make out the figure progressively stalking towards me. I could smell him before I could even see his features. I was in trouble. I hugged the floor with all of the energy I could muster, hoping to go unnoticed. He looked like the devil in the flesh, with eyes that glowed red; wasted, in every sense of the word. No longer the handsome charmer my mother had fallen in love. No, that man was long gone, a pit of despair pulling him in. I can’t completely remember the entirety of his face. My memory consistently trying to block most of him out. All I could see at that time were shadows, sharp angles and those blood shot eyes.

  Sadly, his scent is what I remembered most. Stale vodka with a hint of peppermint schnapps, his guilty pleasure. This scent had taken place in most of my childhood memories up until this point and it was a hard one to forget, as much as I’d tried. He laughed menacingly at my torn apart body. I flinched, I couldn’t help it. Fear overtook me, gripping me hard and fast. In this moment, I prayed to be swallowed up whole by the floor.

  Humiliated and broken to the world around me. The shards of glass that had once been our hallway mirror lay scattered around. I tried to get my left hand to follow the directions my brain was sending it, getting a grip on one of the broken pieces. I didn’t know what I was going to do with it but it wasn‘t going to be pretty. Thoughts of suicide, murder, protection- all rapidly flooded my mind. Unfortunately, I couldn’t do a damn thing. I dropped the shard just as quickly as I had picked it up. He still stood over me, unmoving. His cold, calculated voice repeating it’s all too familiar mantra. I would never forget the way the words rolled so easily off of his lips, disgust filling his face.

  “Look at yourself, Avalynn.” He sneered at me, spitting as he spoke.

  He held a broken shard of glass up to my face, as close as humanly possible. The jagged edges cutting into his own skin, his blood dripping down.

  “ I said….get a good look, Avalynn Wright. Get a good look at the pitiful human being that has ruined my life! You were a mistake. That’s all you will ever be. I‘m so glad such a waste of space doesn‘t hold my last name. Won‘t continue my legacy. You are worthless. Don‘t you ever forget that.” He slurred the words into each other, a normal person wouldn’t have been able to understand him, but I could. I wasn’t a normal person, I’ve never been able to be one.

  He threw the broken shard on top of my now broken body and walked out of the room. Leaving me to drown in the hurt. I would never ever forget his words or the truth lying behind his sunken in eyes. His opinion had always been one that I held at a high standard, even though it killed me in every sense of the word. I couldn’t shake it.

  As the numbness began to overtake my body and my mother’s screams had finally died out, I welcomed the darkness. I welcomed relief that my body and mind had felt. I was shutting down, becoming numb, like I had been for so many years before. I prayed for death. I could see the way out and I was going to take it.

  I only came back to this hell for her. My beautiful baby sister whom I had never gotten to know or meet. I had only made things worse for her, like I usually did when it came to him. I had felt a compulsion to save her; take her away from the childhood that I was running from. She was so strikingly beautiful. The last image that crossed my mind was those big blue eyes that matched mine perfectly. I remember her looking up at me from her crib, reaching out her tiny hand to me and I couldn’t get to her, I couldn’t save her. He had gotten to me first.

  Chapter 1: The past melding into the present

  Four and a half years had gone by since the death of my abusive and tormented father. I could try and tell you that I wasn’t upset by the loss, but sadly I was. I woke up in the hospital a couple of days after with a bad concussion and several broken bones. My body suffered tiny cuts all over where the mirror had taken the first couple layers of skin off.

  I found out news that my father had committed suicide, slitting his own throat. The knife lying by his lifeless body. The details of that horrific night would forever haunt me. The cops came into my hospital room to take my statement and tell me how lucky I was to have survived such a brutal beating. I wouldn’t exactly consider myself lucky. Luck was useless. The only thing I was grateful for out of the whole ordeal was the life of my six month other baby sister, Abby. He had left her unharmed, lying in her crib. Abby didn�
��t even cry.

  The police informed me that my mother’s body was nowhere to be found. They tried searching for it or any clues to what could have possibly happened, but they had no luck. Eventually the case ran cold and it was assumed that he had killed her before the police were able to arrive. He must have hid the body somewhere out in the woods before taking his own life.

  We lived out in the country and it always took longer for police and paramedics to arrive at our home. We had a couple of close neighbors on our little dead end street, but nobody that was ever willing to get involved in all the drama that surrounded our home. They would rather turn a blind eye than get involved and potentially put their own lives at risk. There was no point to being resentful towards any of them, what’s done was done.

  The police let me know that my little sister had been placed in foster care. I worked my ass off as soon as I was well enough. I got my degree and won custody of Abby. All of my hard work had finally paid off and I thanked the lord above. I had an opportunity to give her hope. A normal home with someone that loved her unconditionally, for the good and the bad. It was a long fought battle, but well worth the end result.

  I was now twenty three years old and working as a bartender by night and first grade teacher/mommy by day. I was raising a six year old, blue eyed beauty and she was full of energy. My life had not been all rainbows and butterflies, but I was surviving the best that I could and making life worthwhile for the other half of my heart.

  Abby had taken easily to calling me her Mommy and I didn’t mind a bit. She was my whole world. Abby was diagnosed with Autism at the ripe age of four. That also happened to be the same time that I had finally proven myself to the courts to be worthy to become Abby’s legal guardian, her mother. My mom had been missing at this point for three years and all of the detectives on her case had given up.

  All of her assets, including the home that I had suffered all of my adolescent years in were released to me; as my mother and father had no known immediate family. We had lost touch of all of our relatives over the years. Once my dad had risen to his worst level, he cut my mother off from all association with family and friends, keeping her to me only and the home that we lived in. He didn’t want her to get any ideas on leaving him or finding a better life for us. He kept her trapped. He kept her scared.

  I immediately sold the house and put the profit into savings for Abby. We moved into a quaint two bedroom town home instead and we absolutely loved it. Keeping the house was not even an option for me. It was filled with too many unwanted memories and although Abby was too young to remember much of the incident, I wanted to start fresh and give her the childhood I was never able to have.

  We moved to the small, but amazing town of Ida, Michigan. Ida schools had specialized in children with disabilities. After many recommendations and meetings with the teachers and principal of the school, I decided it would be the best fit for Abby. I wanted to start off her school career on the right path and make sure that she received the care and help she needed. After all of the custody paperwork was signed and the house was settled, we packed up and moved. Never taking a backward glance at the childhood memories I had left behind or the people that never made it a point to help me. Whether it was out of fear or just plain ignorance, I’ll never know. The only person I had was Abby and I was alright with that.

  I would never regret having ran away from home at seventeen years old, finally deciding that I could no longer physically or emotionally take the abuse that was being doled upon me on a daily basis. My mother had become a shell of a person, only going to and from work at the local dairy mart and never really living. She had refused to leave my father, in fear I’m guessing and I had to make that decision on my own. I lived in homeless shelters until I finally graduated High School and set out earning my teaching degree, that’s when the incident occurred. I didn’t run away very far from my folks as I always felt some responsibility to be near and make sure that they were doing as well as they possibly could.

  I didn’t have to like them, but I would always love them. They were mine and I couldn’t replace them. I had heard through the grapevine that my mother had given birth to a little girl and that’s when I decided to take matters into my own hands, a day that I will never forget. Well, you already know what occurred after that and I am trying not to relive the same events. It is almost impossible for simple noises, smells and sounds to not take me back to the place I feared the most.

  I was ecstatic at getting a position at Ida Elementary School. It worked out well as Abby would be attending school there at the beginning of the year, also. I quickly made friends with the staff and loved the calming atmosphere. I was excited to have a career where I could support Abby and I, as well as a comfort zone/safe haven for her and myself. I tried to be thankful every day for the good things that were being dished my way and I hoped that the bad karma was long gone. Abby was more than ready to begin school and was so happy about moving to an exciting new place.

  Abby was well aware that I was her older sister and not her birth mother. I never kept that a secret from her but she still chose to call me mommy. I was all she knew and I had become okay with that. The way she addressed me only added to my deep sense of pride and need to make the best life for her as humanly possible. I still told her stories of our mother and father, leaving out all the bad and talking about the personality traits that we could be proud of. I told Abby stories portraying them to be like the heroic princes and princess that she loved hearing about in the fairytale books. Abby was too young to remember the incident and never questioned the jagged scars that littered my body. She was so young and innocent and I wanted to keep it that way. Abby deserved to have a happy and healthy childhood. I didn’t want to tarnish her thoughts on why we were in the situation we were in. I wanted her to take our relationship as a positive thing, a normal thing. I hate to play the victim as I know what a strong woman I have become. But I was still weak in a lot of ways.

  I am not the hero in this story. Abby saved me, not the other way around. She was the reason that I fought to live every single day. I struggled to get a grip on my intense mood swings and horribly painful flashbacks. If it weren’t for the responsibility of taking care of Abby and loving her with all that I had, I would have given up long ago. She was my only reason for being; until I met him. He brought a whole new meaning to my life; one that could not be fulfilled by anybody else. He changed the way that I viewed myself. He threw my pre-planned life out the window. He shocked my system and gave my heart the jump start it needed. I am now a firm believer in the phrase, “rather to have loved and lost than to have never loved at all”. Simple but true. This is a story of love, heartbreak and everything in between. This story has it all---in spades.

  Chapter 2: Walk of Shame.

  The school bell rang signaling the end of another work day. I helped a couple of students with their coats and wished them all a good weekend before I grabbed my briefcase and headed for the door. I locked the door behind me and scurried down the hall to Mrs. Anderson’s first grade classroom to pick up Abby. Abby gave me her infamous heart melting smile and raced into my arms.

  “Whoa there little one. You almost knocked me over. I take it you had a good day?” I scooped Abby up into my arms and smothered her chubby cheeks in kisses.

  “I gotta cowlor allll day Mommy. It’s a pwetty picture.“ She looked at me excitedly and handed me a folded up piece of paper.

  I gently unfolded it to see a stick figure drawing of a girl with long blonde hair and big blue eyes.

  “It’s you mommy!” she grinned from ear to ear.

  I had to stifle a laugh; I covered it up by giving her another sloppy kiss on the cheek. She wiped at it with her little hands, “blegh.” she mumbled out. I cracked a smile and set Abby firmly on the ground.

  “I have to talk to Mrs. Anderson for a minute, sit in your chair and be a good girl.” I looked her straight in the eye with as much of a serious face as I could muster. She gav
e me a swift nod of her head.

  “Otay Mommy.” She whispered and promptly sat in her chair and pulled out her crayons to begin coloring some more.

  I walked up the desk where Mrs. Anderson was patiently sitting. She looked pensive, with a bright red pen in hand.

  “Mrs. Anderson, is Christina still able to baby-sit for me this weekend? I won’t be heading out until 8 or so for my shift.” I asked her, snapping her out of the day dream state she was currently in.

  I studied the worn face of Abby’s middle aged Kindergarten teacher. I didn’t have Abby in my class because I didn’t specialize in special needs children. Abby loved Mrs. Anderson and more specifically, Christina, who was Mrs. Anderson’s seventeen year old daughter and my regular weekend babysitter.

  “Yes, just like the last three weekends dear.” Mrs. Anderson began to laugh. “The girl is saving up for a car and just loves little Abby to pieces, babysitting two days out of every week won’t hurt her any, she needs the responsibility.”

  “Thank you, I’ll have snacks available for her, I really appreciate the help and Abby loves Christina, too.” I waved to Mrs. Anderson, grabbed Abby’s hand and headed towards the car.

  Abby fell asleep on the drive home. A full day of school always knocks Abby right out. We spent the rest of the afternoon eating junk food, after a wholesome dinner of spaghetti of course, and cuddling in front of the television. Christina arrived at Seven P.M. I hurried to grab a shower and get ready for my shift at Louie’s. I took as quick of a shower as possible and threw on some tight fitting jeans and the tight blue and gold top that read Louie’s across my bust. All employees were forced to wear the top as part of the uniform, who was I to mess with tradition. I brushed the tangles out of my long blonde mane, but left my hair curly. Quickly smudged some lip gloss on and was ready to go. I glanced in the mirror for a quick teeth check and hurriedly rushed away. Mirrors always left a bad taste in my mouth.